Excerpt for Her by , available in its entirety at Smashwords


Copyright 2017 Amy Sparks

Published and Edited by Aria Grey at Smashwords

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Other Books by Amy Sparks

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not


Screwed Up

my fiction life

Sincerely, Romeo

A Whisper in the Wind


Thank you for my friend for making this story happen since this is all about her life.

Do you wanna hear a story? Well, of course you do, everyone loves stories. Especially mine. Mine, of course, is a little bit interesting since the story is based on my life. Yeah, yeah, you might think how boring someone's life is, but oh no, not mine. My life is honestly like a rollercoaster that never goddamn stops. My life is so weird that it feels like God just wanted me to have some weird, funny life that will never stop until I guess the day I die. Yeah, well, I guess I can't do anything about that huh? Anyway, back to the story. Do you wanna hear it or not? Well, of course, you're gonna have to, since I'm already gonna tell you about it and there's no stopping me. Oh, by the way, my name is--

"Don't tell your name! Make it dramatic. You know, like a movie." Ana says, which makes me jump.

"Ugh. Fine. Is that what you want?" She nods rapidly as I flop on my bed and sigh.

"Fine. I guess my name won't be in this book, which makes no sense since it's about my life!" I groan and look straight up at the ceiling.

"Well since I am listening, I like things to be a little bit more dramatic." I turn my head and look at Ana, who is on the floor and looking through my yearbooks.

"Fine, you lunatic. Now, as I was saying..." I look at Ana to see if she's paying attention and of course she's not.

"Ana!" I shout and she jumps as she throws my yearbooks at my face. I swear under my breath as I pick up the yearbook and throw it across the room. Sheesh, this girl.

"What? I'm listening don't worry." She says as she puts the yearbooks back into the drawer and closes it as she grabs a pillow from my chair and holds it like it some doll.

"Are you ready or what?" She nods and I roll my eyes. I rub my hands together and I close my eyes as I begin to start the story. Get ready guys, because this is a good one.

Chapter One

The beginning of “her”

Light. The way this little baby girl opens her eyes knows that she is born. Her mother is in pain still since of course, she was 2 weeks late. Someone who is giving birth to a baby who is 2 weeks older than it should be deserves at least a medal. She was born on May 19th, 2002, but she was supposed to be born on May 5th, but of course, she was 2 weeks late! She was also born the night before her mother's surgery but God thought it was finally time for her to ‘pop’ out and boom! Here she is. Born in Romania, she stands here today as the "baby" who is goddamn 2 weeks late.

"Wait. You were 2 weeks late? Dang..." My head jerks to the right as Ana, of course, had to stop me in the middle of my beautiful life story.

"Ana! Seriously?" She shrugs and I sigh. I nod and wait for her to be quiet so I can continue to continue telling the story.

 "Ok, now you can continue. Beautiful beginning by the way." I groan and lean back on my pillow and start the story.

Anyway... She was a beautiful baby girl as she had brown hair and grey eyes. You can tell by just her appearance she was gonna be something amazing in the future. All we had to do was wait and see for ourselves.

Now, moving all the way until she was maybe two years old? Yeah, that seems right. As she lived in Romania, she had lots of pets. She was born with a lot of animals in the house which is such a thrilling life since she never got bored. She was an only kid of course since there's no need for another child since she was an already awesome kid. Yeah, I know, this book is already getting extra already. Oh well, no turning back. She loved her life until she had to move to Canada. She moved to Canada at the age of five which is stupid because why would anyone want to move to another country? Not her. She did go to kindergarten in Romania for only a year which did nothing. She hated learning English and had to live with her father's parents which of course this story is getting so boring I'm about to fall asleep.

"Ow!" I yell as I jerk up and stare at Ana.

"Well sorry but you fell asleep. I guess your life is so boring that you honestly fell asleep huh?" I growl at her and throw the book back at her. I honestly feel like she dented my forehead by throwing the book at me, but I'm too lazy to even check.

"Well sorry. I'll continue. Blah blah... Oh! Got it! Then..." As she lived in Canada she began to have a hate for fireworks. Yeah, some kid huh? For some reason, she hated fireworks but of course, continued her life with the hatred for fireworks. Ok, this stuff honestly doesn't matter but I'm living with it. I am "her" of course. Anyway... she was a very loud child as she grew up and would never sleep. No nap time equals to no sleep time! Like such a weird girl... Her whole family loved her so much and since she was an only child she got even more love since she had no siblings!

In her whole life, she went to six schools which were a pain in the ass but she lived through it. As her life moved on, she got bullied a lot at her third school which of course her life had to include a bully since that's what life is. Full of shit! She got choked by some crazy ass girl but on the bright side, God blessed her with a girl who actually wanted to be her friend! Crazy, right? She got a friend and bully by both her sides and only had to pick one that could be in her life. She, of course, was smart and picked her friend and went on with her life.

She also learned how to swim by the age of nine because she, of course, didn't want to drown if she was in a pool and didn't know how to swim! Swimming did her well and by just ten years old, she went onto competitive swimming.

As her life was finally doing good, that stupid rollercoaster went down and that's when her life went down to a pile of shit. She was going to a swim meet and that's when she saw her bully from her school. There was a race that day and so, of course, God thought it would be a good idea for both of them to race together and that's what they did. Thinking that there was no way that bully was gonna win and make her feel like some loser, she made a tiny little prayer and swam her hardest as she raced that bully.

"Now let's see, who do you think won?" I say and Ana, of course, is gonna say me because why would I be telling this story in the first place?

 "Uh... your bully?" I nod, then stop as I think about what she just said.

"What! No! I won! Why on earth would my bully win? Do you really think that I was gonna even let her win?" Ana is biting her lip and I throw my pillow at her face. Score!

"Well, I just thought--" I scoff at her and stare at Ana.

"Well, you thought. Now, may I continue?" She nods and I continue the story.

"Now the person who won was..." Me! There was no way that her bully was gonna win and she knew that there was no way that God was gonna let that bully win also. She laughs at the other girl's face and cries as she runs to her mommy. "Score!" She runs to her family and they cheer as she just won the Oscars. Winning is honestly a piece of cake. For "her."

Chapter Two

The “problems”

"Hey, mom?" She says and her mother comes into her room in a hurry.

"What's wrong honey?" She grabs her shoulder and touches it. She winces as the pain burns through her fingers and throughout her entire life.

"My shoulder hurts. My shoulder can't hurt or else I can't swim mom!" She yells, feeling the tears coming in the corner of her eyes. She runs to her mother and she feels the arms of her mother wrapped around her like a bandage that will fix her right up. It never happens though. By the age of twelve, her life comes rolling back down into the pile of shit and she begins to think if God even loves her. She quits swimming by the age of twelve and begins to even wonder if her life will be like this. As some life that doesn't even want her to have anything happy in it. As she remembers her life before her shoulder hurting she remembers that her life was never at all a good time. At her fourth school, when she was just nine years old she got bullied again. Talk about luck. By some idiotic girl "I still hate her by the way" and a boy named Christopher.

"Wait Christopher bullied you?" I turn to Ana and give her an evil look. She laughs and falls down on the floor and continues on laughing. Oh great, my friend is a total idiot. I throw my pillow at her and it hits her head with a loud thump. That'll do.

"Do you want me to hit you with a brick then?" Ana stops laughing and throws me back the pillow at my face. I catch it before it hits me and hold it close to my chest.

 "Well I'm sorry but aren't you and Christopher --" I cut her off by giving her a stare that means "I will kill you if you don't shut up" and luckily it works. Ana leans back onto the wall and I lean back as well.

"Go on." She says and I smile and continue on with the story.

"Oh yeah... Where were we... " As she walked to school Christopher would always bully her anytime and anywhere which of course got on her nerves. Now being bullied by a girl was honestly fine, but being bullied by a guy meant war. She was tired of getting pushed around by people that didn't even care about her. This made her realize something. She had to change and become the girl that she had to be. A bitch. School went on and just when the roller coaster went up, it fell back down into the pile of shit.

"Do you have to say, "pile of shit?" It's so disgusting." I groan and roll my eyes as I turn to look at Ana.

"Well do you have any ideas then?" Ana looks up at the ceiling and puts on her "thinking face" which is completely stupid. I wait for about a whole minute and I'm about to say something until Ana stops me with an idea. Oh boy...

"Just say into a pile of lava." I give her a confusing look and I literally don't know what to say. Into a pile of lava? Okay...

"Uh.... sure?" Ana smiles and I just go with this weird sentence and move on. I feel like "shit" is a better word to use but if this is not what she likes, then so be it. I crack my knuckles and lean back into my pillows and continue on with the story.

"As I was saying...." As school went on, of course, life wanted to be horrible again and it kicked her in the ass. She got a cat in grade four but lost her dog in grade five. Wonderful, right? She did though get another cat in grade six and they're both still alive, which is awesome. Now back to the more important stuff in her life, let's go back to grade five. In grade five everything was perfect until her good for nothing teacher made her life turn into crap. Again. Her teacher made her and Christopher sit together for the whole year of grade five! Now, they hated each other a lot but there was nothing they can do except just ignore the fact they hate each other and they had to sit together for the entire fucking year and move on with life. Two years went by and she wanted to teach Christopher something that would actually help both of them in this shitty life. She taught him how to be actually nice to her. She taught him like he was some pup who didn't know any tricks and needed to be potty-trained or something. Their whole lives together were somewhat fine. Everyone thought that they were dating since they would always spend time together but of course, that was just a load of bullshit. By grade nine, they were both thinking about each other. About how life would be like if they were actually ‘together.’

 "This is so weird you know." I turn to Ana and flick her off.

 "Yeah well, it is my life you know. I told you it's not gonna be the "best thing ever." I get off my bed and pick up my cat and hold him close as I walk back to my bed and jump on it.

"So, can you continue or what?" I turn to Ana and she actually looks like she wants to hear more into this story. Huh. I laugh and put my cat back on the ground but it jumps back onto my bed and lies at the end of my bed.

"Are you sure you want to hear more Ana? I thought you were getting bored." She shakes her head about ten times and I laugh more as this is just funny to watch.

"Um no. Please continue. Please!!!" I roll my eyes as her voice is getting louder and louder and I put my finger on my lip to show that she needs to shush it.

"Fine, fine. As I was saying, you crazy girl...." Life wanted to give her another friend. His name was Jack and of course, he had to be a boy. Now Jack was her best friend and he came before Christopher, so of course, this is gonna turn out so weird in life. Jack kept asking her and Christopher if they were gonna date or not and of course, she kept getting annoyed by how Jack kept asking her and Christopher to ask each other out, so she asked out Christopher and he asked her out and they both said yes! Yay... Of course, dating your enemy was the stupidest thing ever but honestly, it didn't change anything between them. She got frustrated how she's been dating Christopher for years and nothing has changed between them. They did like each other but they've really haven't done anything about it expect just dating. She tried too many moves on him but nothing worked. He honestly was a dumbass. He never really figured it out that she was trying to make a move on him and it just made her even madder than she already was. One day, life wanted to kick her in the ass again and of course, she went along with it. One night she was watching a movie with her best friend, Jack of course because he was her best friend. It had to be a guy??? Ugh! Anyway... she was mad that Christopher never figures it out that she wants more from him so as she talked and talked with Jack, chemistry happened, and it was horrible yet awesome.

"Do you like the movie?" She says to Jack and he nods as his eyes just stare directly at the TV. Such an idiot. She keeps on watching the movie but somehow, she’s watching him more than the movie itself. Weird. She keeps thinking of Christopher and feels that anger on the inside just boiling and ready to break out. She keeps on staring at him and it's killing honestly killing her.

 "Are you okay?" Jack says and she breaks out of her dreams and into reality. She nods but then looks down on the ground and doesn't even know if she's even "okay." She makes the best/worst decision ever and somehow, he's going along with it. She kisses Jack and somehow, they go along with it like it's nothing at all. Some life huh?

Chapter three


"Ew," Ana says and I grab a pillow and put it over my face and hide underneath the shame and embarrassment.

 "Not my fault Ana," I mumble the words since I'm basically covering myself with this damn pillow.

"Well, why did you even make out with him? Ugh, I can't even look at Jack anymore. You do realize he's in my classes right!" I groan and throw the pillow across my room and it makes a loud thump. The door opens right away and of course, it's my mom.

"Are you okay girls?" I nod and I know for sure my mom has a confusing face on.

"We're fine mom. Don't worry. I just got mad about something and so I threw the pillow across the room. No biggie." I can hear my mom sigh and the door then closes and I take the pillow off my face and sigh. I turn to Ana and she has a waiting face meaning she's waiting for the damn story.

"I gotta continue don't I," I say and Ana nods and I groan as I put the pillow back on my face. Yeah, I could live like this. With a pillow on my damn face until the day I die. I then realize that this is honestly stupid and so I take the pillow off my face and stand up and fix my hair and my life a bit.

"Okay, I'm ready." I take a deep breath and continue the stupid story which is honestly my damn life. How crazy is that?

"It's not your fault you know. It's what you thought was right but it honestly wasn't." I nod and grab my cat at the end of my bed and put it on my lap and hold it tight against my chest.

"I fucked up Ana. It's my life but I still fucked it up. I'm an idiot." Ana gets up and sits on my bed and puts her hand on my knee.

"No, you’re not. You’re just a fifteen-year-old girl that's still understanding life. You think I haven't done anything stupid before? You’re not the only one who has a shitty life. Now, continue with the story so I can finally leave this room and actually watch some TV." I laugh and nod as I lean back on my pillows and continue with the story that I like to call "my life."

"Fine. Back to the story..." She fucked up, okay? She knew what she was getting herself into and this is what happened. She had to make out with her best friend behind her boyfriend's back and it honestly was the worst thing she has ever done. The next day she wants to see if Christopher really liked her or if he was just playing a damn game with her heart. If he was, not cool.

 "Do you like me Christopher, or is this all some joke?" She says to Christopher and he has a confusing look on his face. She has nerves written all over her and it's about to show if he's not gonna answer anytime soon.

"Of course, I do. Why?" He says and that's when the shit all happens all over again.

Chapter four

The Truth

She needs to tell him the truth about how she went behind his back and made out with her best friend just last night. This is horrible. She also needs to tell her best friend that it was a mistake that they made out and that Christopher actually likes her. She hopes that she won't lose him but she can't promise that he won't. She goes to Jack's house and of course, it's all awkward since they just made out last night and Christopher has no clue what on earth actually happened. Oh boy... She told him how they can't do this anymore and everything on what happened last night was a huge mistake. She prayed that he would not yell at her or do anything harsh like not be her friend anymore. Thankfully, he understood and they stayed best friends. Not like friends with benefits or anything like that. Just friends that don't make out behind someone's boyfriend’s back. Weeks go by and she and Christopher liked each other which made no difference since he still hasn't even kissed her or anything. Ugh, life. It made her mad that he won't even talk about they like each other but they won't do anything about it! One day she just got super mad and decided to call him and talk about what the hell is actually happening with them. They needed to talk about it or else she's gonna break up with him and not even talk to him anymore. Thinking that they were gonna talk about it, Christopher didn't even want to talk about it which made absolutely no sense and it made her even madder since her own boyfriend doesn't even want to talk to her! As they were about to get on the subject he said that he was going to Hawaii which made her sad since she really wanted to talk to him about their relationship that they have together. They did though talk a lot while he was in Hawaii and while as they talked he said something that made her confused and happy at the same time. He said that he loved her and that made her scared at what he actually means by that.

"Wait... he said that he loved you?" Ana says and I look at her and nod as I remember the texts he sent me as he said that he loved me.

"You see Ana, sometimes life is so shitty, that you just gotta live through it, even if it bites you in the butt sometimes and it never stops. That's life, and honestly, that's my life." I say and Ana nods as she looks up at my ceiling, wondering what to say. I bit my lip and lie down as I hold my cat close to me and close my eyes.

"Um, well... I don't really know what else to say then. Um, wanna order pizza?" I laugh as I think how the pizza would be good right now since I'm really hungry and I wanna eat my feelings right now.

"Yeah sure. Go call them and make an order for a large cheese pizza and fries and anything else if you want. I'll pay." I say and Ana laughs and jumps off my bed and opens my bedroom door and makes way through the hall to get the phone.

"No way am I letting you pay for all of this!" She yells across the hallway and I laugh as I think of Ana just calling the pizza place and making them sure that our order is right. Ana gets super triggered when someone messes up a little thing in her stupid order. Pff, I don't even care honestly. I get off my bed and put my cat down on the ground, and it runs into the closet and hides behind my clothes. Weird cat. I shake my head and look in the mirror and yawn. Damn, I'm tired. I put my hair up in a messy bun and then walk all the way to my bedside drawer and I open it. I pull out a pink sticky note and a sharpie and I then walk all the way to the other side of my bedroom and I look at the stupid plain wall. Huh, it's super plain that just looking at me is making me super depressed. Yeah, I'm changing this. I pull the cap off the sharpie with my teeth and I write something on the sticky note. I then put the cap on the sharpie and put the sticky note on my wall. I then write more and more quotes on the sticky notes and I put them all on my wall that honestly covers a good quarter of the wall. I then take a step back and look at my wall and I smile as the pink sticky notes and the black sharpie writing looks awesome on my plain wall.

 "Ok I called and I placed our order and they're gonna come in about twenty minutes, is that fi--" Anna stops and her eyes are bulged out and her mouth is open like she's seen some ghost.

"Calm down, this is just my quotes wall," I say and she shakes her head and walks closer and looks close to my wall and reads some of the quotes that are on.

"Ok... Um, are you okay?" I groan and then walk over to my bedside table and I put the sticky notes and sharpie back into the drawer.

"I'm fine Ana. I'm just expressing myself through quotes. Are you fine with that or do I need to ask for your permission to put stuff on my wall?" I ask and Ana shakes her head and then turns around to look back to the wall. Oh boy.

"No, you don't need to ask for my permission. I just. Ugh, never mind. Can we just leave this room before more stories are told and more quotes are gonna be put on this wall?" I laugh and nod as I make the way out of my room as Ana does the same thing. Ana walks all the way to my kitchen and I'm about to follow her as I look back into my room and remember what else I have to do.

"Um, you stay in my kitchen. I'll be back in a minute." I say and Ana yells an "okay" as I enter my room. I close my door quietly without making a noise and I make way to my wall. I read some of the quotes that I put on there and I smile as I feel proud of my artwork that I put on my wall. My mom will sure yell at me because of this though but I really don't care. I look carefully at the wall and realize that something feels wrong. I go over to my drawer and I open it and grab the sharpie and the sticky notes. I walk over to my wall and I write one more quote and I slap it right in the middle of my wall. I then throw my sharpie on my bed and smile as I now feel completed of how my wall looks like now. I then walk away and open my door and then take one look at my wall and leave my room as the words scatter my room.

 "Okay Ana, did the pizza come yet or what?" I run to the kitchen and see Ana paying the pizza guy and then closing the door while walking to the kitchen table with the pizza in her hands.

"Where were you? Did you write another quote on your wall or something?" I think about saying yes but then my mind tells me no as I should keep it a secret since it does tell everything about me.

"Oh uh, no. I was checking for more sticky notes but somehow I need to buy more since I'm running out of them. That's all." Ana has a confusing look on her face but all she does is nods and then puts the pizza box on the table.

"Okay well then, dig in!" She says and I laugh as I grab a slice of pizza and take a huge bite of it.

"So, what did you actually write? I know for sure that's not all you did." I smile and think about that one word I wrote on that small sticky note. That one word that chooses to be in the middle of everything in my life and my wall. That one word that defines my whole entire life and of course, myself. That one word that only has three letters making it complete and an actual word. And that word is HER.

Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got.”

-R. Brault

Thank you to my friend who let me write a book about her crazy life. I honestly had no ideas and you were an idea that made me have fun writing this book about your very own life. You were my inspiration and I had a blast writing this book. Thank you so much for being not only my friend, but for letting me write a book about you.

Lots of love!

-Amy Sparks

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- Aria Grey,

editor of this book and designer of Amy Sparks’ covers.

About the Author

Amy Sparks is a sixteen-year-old author who lives in British Columbia, Canada. She has written five books (as of the release of this book) and she is planning on writing more books on the future. In real life, she has a best friend called Aria Grey, on whom she has based two characters in past books, Aria (in ‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…’) and Aviva (in ‘Scarred’). Aria Grey often edits Amy Sparks’ books and designs her book covers, as well as managing her website, her Facebook page and official Instagram account.

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