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AND THE WINNER IS…

Tasha Page-Lockhart Uncut

Written by Tasha Page-Lockhart

Foreword by Marita Kinney




Copyright 2017 by Tasha Page-Lockhart

All Rights Reserved

Smashwords Edition

Acknowledgements

I would like to first thank my husband Clifton Lockhart. Thank you for loving me no matter what. You have played such a major irreplaceable role in my life. I don't know where I'd be if God hadn't used you to bring me back to Him. Thank you for choosing me even though my past said RUN. You honored me and made me your wife and for that I'm grateful and I love you.

I can't move on any further without acknowledging my two amazing children Ronald D and CJ. Each week you share me with people all over the world. I know sometimes it gets hard and I may miss a basketball game or two, but I work tremendously hard so that I can provide a lifestyle for you that I never had. I love to see you both happy and safe.

To Marita Kinney: I know for a fact that God sent you to me. Thank you for your patience and assistance in helping me to get this book done. I really appreciate everything you have done for me. You have been a blessing to me and I pray that God returns it back to you 100 fold.

Last but definitely not least I want to take a moment and list a few names of some people that were influential in my growth and deliverance process.

Bishop Michael Brooks, Pastor Lisa Brooks (my mother), Elder Thomas Page (my Father), Prophet Todd Hall, Bishop Hezekiah Walker, Bishop J. C. Williams, Matt Ables, Shalae Madison, Denise Wiggins, and Dr. Nicole LaBeach.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my Grandmother, the late Shirley Ann Harris. She taught me how to pray until I felt the power of God! She loved me and I loved her so much.

I also dedicate this book to the late Apostle, Christopher Poole. He unlocked a desire for ministry in me. He helped me to see what was possible.

Copyright

Copyright 2017 by Tasha Page-Lockhart.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publishers, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a newspaper, magazine or journal.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide, www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Buss, D. M. (1995) The Evolution of Desire; Strategies of Human Mating, Basic Books. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-943409-28-0

Printed in the United States of America.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Copyright

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter One - And the Winner Is...

Chapter Two - High Hopes

Chapter Three - The Perfect Childhood

Chapter Four - Be Right Back Mom

Chapter Five - Who Am I?

Chapter Six - Two Packs a Day

Chapter Seven - Caught Up

Chapter Eight - The Trigger

Chapter Nine - He Used Me

Chapter Ten - Turning Point

Chapter Eleven - Get It Out

Chapter Twelve - I Forgive You

Conclusion

About the Author


Foreword

By Marita Kinney, BCC

Overcoming the struggles in life can appear to be impossible and extremely discouraging. Although you may feel defeated in some areas of your life, you can become victorious through Jesus Christ. Tasha Page-Lockhart is a perfect example of what it means to become a true winner in life. When I first met her at a conference that we both spoke at, I knew that we had something in common: pain. We were overcomers, with “a kindred spirit,” as she likes to say. The anointing in her voice told an unspoken story. That story is shared in this book.

There are millions of women with layers of pain and adversity who are desperately trying to find hope as they peel away every layer. Tasha selflessly shares her testimony with boldness, giving her readers the encouragement to press forward no matter what they have experienced in life. God has a way of making her story believable to others, causing you to see what you’ve gone through.

As she guides you through the most fragile times of her life, not to glorify her struggles but to take the power of silence away from the enemy, you’ll begin to see God’s hand all over her. Everyone wants to be anointed but no one wants to be crushed in order to get the oil. I commend Tasha for her transparency throughout her book. It was defiantly written with a purpose and passion. Allow this book to minister to your spirit and not be read through your carnal eyes.

There is nothing in your life that cannot be used for the glory of God. The word tells us in James 1:2 to count it all joy. Do you trust God with your darkest moments? Nothing that has happened in your life was in vain. He wants to mold you, shape you, and build you for His purpose. Yes! Even your pain has a purpose. It can destroy you or make you. You’ll read how the trials in Tasha’s life were used to make her. None of us would be who we are without the rough side of the mountain. Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Greatness can be birthed out of pain. A lot like Tasha, I too had endured many hardships throughout my life. The more I tried to figure things out on my own, the more broken I became. I was addicted to pain and couldn’t see myself living any other way. I’m so thankful that I serve a God that restores. He taught me how to turn my pain into hope for others. My unspoken walk in darkness came to an end through Jesus’s blood that was shed for me. God’s light began to shine through me. I became a best-selling author with over 35 published titles, sharing God’s grace and mercy with the world. I too am a winner, and Tasha’s book will allow you the opportunity to discover the winner inside of you.

Marita Kinney, BCC

www.MaritaKinney.com | @maritakinney

Introduction

Hello reader! You have either purchased my book or borrowed it from someone−either way I thank you. Thank you for going on this journey of healing with me. God has a way of showing you things about yourself that you would never have seen on your own. I never thought I'd ever write a book, ever! I love to write music and sometimes as a teen I would write down my prayers but that's about it. I paused to cry about three times while working on this because I couldn't believe that I had survived it all. Some memories were so removed from my mind that until I began to dig deeply into my cloudy past, I could relive them again by writing this book. I couldn't believe that I had been such a terrible mother early on in my life. I guess that's why I spoil my children now−trying to make up for what was.

In the chapters to come, you will walk with me throughout my childhood, growing up in the COGIC church (The Church of God In Christ) and see what it was like having a gospel sensation as a mom. If someone were to ask me if I had a painful childhood, I would say NO. After reading the first few chapters, you may have a different opinion. I say that because, yes, like any family we had secrets. But through it all. my parents loved me and they did the best they could with what they had. They created so many amazing moments with me and my sisters that I often forgot about the other stuff until I was alone with just my thoughts and me. This is not a “tell all” book or a book to bash or defame anyone's character. I am only saying what God allows me to say in hopes that someone will be set free and encouraged.

As you read, I admonish you to lay aside your titles and positions and allow yourself to reflect on what life for you was, what life is now, and what you want your life to become. After you have done that, pray for strength, as I have, to make the necessary changes to your life that will please God. Feel free to pause and cry if that's what it takes to get it out. You may need to call and ask someone to forgive you or tell them that you forgive them. Hey, do whatever it takes to get to your happy place. Do what you have to do to WIN! That is the point of this book; it's not that I won a reality singing competition but that I won over the enemy. I won over myself, my insecurities, my own failures and mistakes. With the help of God, family and friends, I overcame drug addiction. I kicked a nasty habit of cigarette smoking, and I stopped living my life as a victim of molestation. If I can do it, then so can you! We are all winners. Let's walk.

Chapter One

And The Winner Is . . .

It was around the end of February, 2013. I got a phone call from a family friend and he said, “Tasha, the Lord put it in my heart to send you to audition for Sunday Best.” I immediately said, “No, I don't want to do it. I'm not into competitions.” I was just totally against the whole idea of competitions, and a gospel competition show at that. I told him that I would pray about it and call him back with a final answer. What he didn't know was that before he called, I was in the middle of recording an audition video for a role in the Broadway production Motown The Musical. I wanted to play Gladys Knight, and so I had been studying one of her hits “Midnight Train to Georgia.” I said a short prayer asking God what I should do about the Sunday Best audition and then immediately went back to preparing this Broadway audition video. Approximately 30 minutes after speaking with my friend, I received a text message from my cousin Monica Brown that read, “Hey, Cuz, I'm sending you the link to this website to find a song for an audition for Sunday Best. It's Your Time! “I couldn't believe it. I was lying across my bed and I looked up while laughing and said, “God are you serious? Okay, Okay. I get it; I'll go.”

So then I instantly shifted gears. It was no longer about the Broadway production because apparently God had another plan and He had intervened. I started practicing one of the songs on the list, then thought to myself maybe I should call and discuss this with my husband and my mom. When I told my husband (Clifton) what I was thinking about doing, he started laughing and then said, “If God said do it, then I support you 100%.” I didn't really know how to take that because the laughter threw me, but at least I had his support, so I took that. My mom, on the other hand, wasn't so supportive of the idea. She actually advised me not to go through with it only because she knows how political the music industry can be, and she didn't want me to get hurt. I totally understood where she was coming from but because I believed that this was what God wanted for my life, I decided to go for it. It is very rare that I go against my mom's counsel when it comes to music and ministry, but this I had to do for me.

I had been planning a birthday musical to be held at the church, The Rose of Sharon COGIC (Pastor Ronald Griffin) where I served as Music Director at the time. The musical was a major success. It was packed to capacity, and we had a life-changing encounter with God. I announced that I had decided to audition for BET Networks' Sunday Best. I was overtaken with emotion to see so many people rooting for me. It made me feel so confident to know that I had the support of my city. So the next day I flew to Houston, where I had a few days before the audition. Coincidentally, it was my birthday, so I went shopping and out to dinner with my “mother-in-love” who was living there at the time. We had such a great time, and the weather was just beautiful! I was soon reminded by a family friend what I was actually there for when she asked me to sing my audition song for her. I immediately got extremely nervous and almost changed my mind about going through with the auditions.

The morning had come for me to audition, and I was scared out of my mind. I'm always very nervous before I sing anywhere, but this time it was way worse than ever before. When I got there, I found a line outside leading into registration. Unfortunately, I had to wait but not as long as some of the others who had been there all night. I guess I arrived at the perfect time when the line was somewhat short. There was a ton of paperwork to fill out, and I was given a number, separated from Mom Lockhart, and directed to a waiting section. We were at a humongous church, and the whole scene was without question intimidating−to say the least. I kept thinking, “Why am I here, why am I here? There are tons of great singers here; I don't belong here.” I purposely didn't go in name-dropping and telling people who my mother was. For those of you who don't know my mom, she is gospel recording artist Lisa Page-Brooks from the award winning all female group, Witness. I didn't use my mother's name to get special treatment. perks or favoritism. I went through the whole process like everyone else. After a long day and rounds of singing, I was given a “Yes” from all three judges and was one step closer to possibly making it on the show. A few weeks went by and they called me back to say that I was chosen as a contestant on “Season 6” of BET's Sunday Best. I was in total shock walking through the mall in tears. I started scrambling and pulling things together for my wardrobe.. My family and friends all came together and donated money and clothes to make sure I looked good on television. I have the most amazingly supportive family in the world.


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