Of a Man
Evolution of a Playa
2016 Anthony Jae Gonzalez
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and page design by Toelke
Table of Contents
All You Can Be ’96–’97
or Not Part One ’93
Boy Is Mine ’93–’94
Adventures ’93 & ‘01
Morning Wake Up ’98–’99
in the Family
& Run ’00–’01
I Have Some? ’06
or Not Part Two ’04–’05
say that it takes a village to raise a child, so with that being said
… I’d like to thank my entire village: The Hunter/Newton Family,
The Otero/Gonzalez Family, The Roman/Rosario Family, The
Ortiz/Velez/Davila/Reyes Family, The Jordan/Gregg Family, all of
which play a significant part in my upbringing in one way or another.
I wouldn’t be the man that I am if not for my village, love y’all
to the death of me and beyond.
also like to thank my Cozine/Workman/Pink Houses & Newlots
Brothers and Sisters. Y’all know who y’all are and make no
mistake about it I mean brother and sisters literally.
thanks goes to my son, Dominic C. Taylor ’cause if not him I
wouldn’t have entertained the idea of writing books. The first book
I wrote wasn’t this one, it was what I consider a book of
enlightenment which was inspired by him. Soon to be released...
special thanks goes to my Team — aka Family — Denise Moore, Tanya
M. Smith, Erika Melanie, Carol Sheffer, and Sarah Lovell. These women
each believed enough in me and this book to dedicate themselves to
the making of it. If not for them, I can honestly say that this book
would have still been in manuscript (hand written) form and somewhere
in a manila envelope.
can’t forget the haters, the fakes, and the snakes ’cause you too
played a part in who I’ve become. Thank y’all and rest assured I
know who you all are, Smfh/Lmfao... ..
also goes to all of the females I’ve crossed paths with because you
too played a part in the man I’ve become... .
book has been put this book together in an informative, yet
entertaining, format. It is based on actual events, facts, and
emotions that I have experienced. Out of respect, I have altered the
names of the people I mention. This book is composed of my innermost
feelings and thoughts about my sexual experiences. I do not mean to
offend any particular gender and/or race. My apologies go out in
advance if I do so.
took me years to actually understand the renowned word “playa.” A
playa has many advantages and disadvantages depending on where one
stands in life. My intention is to enlighten people on those
advantages and disadvantages from where I stood and now stand. I have
come to believe that a true playa is a pimp in training. Also, that a
true playa’s love is actually lust. If he claims otherwise, he is
simply playing along. Eventually, one will realize they’re playing
themselves and stop playing this game if they ever want a chance of
having a meaningful relationship with one person. There comes a time
when a person must realize that a true playa loves no one but
could be considered a playa. By that I mean a playboy, a gigolo, a
womanizer, or a john. Even a female can be considered a playa,
although it’s not respected due to their gender. Yet, for women, it
mainly depends on their habits and actions. Whether one respects the
game or not, who decides who’s the playa haters and the playas?
true playa is in fact up front about his position to avoid any
misunderstandings and/or drama. Nobody has the right to claim to be a
playa if they are in a relationship. If so, then that so called
“playa” isn’t nothing more than a cheater and/or adulteress.
There are rules to everything; being a womanizer, playboy, gigolo,
pimp, john, or the so called “playa.” Once a person doesn’t
follow the rules in any way, they must evaluate their position in the
game and in life.
then I was left with the wrong impression of what females expected
from me. It took a long time before I realized what I was supposed to
do, and what I was expected to do in order to have a good woman.
THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS
first sexual experience had my nose wide open. I just wanted to have
sex every chance I got and I never wanted the relationship to end.
The funny thing was that other than the times we were fucking, she
acted like I didn’t exist. It fucked me up because when we were
together we would have sex every available moment. Outside of the
room, I was just a boy she knew from the hood. We both were very
young, so I understand why it was a “behind closed doors”
relationship. We didn’t have any business being naked like that in
the first place, curiosity killed the cat. Things were like that
between us for a long time and then one day she was gone. Her family
had moved and I felt sick because I didn’t want her to go away.
really liked Veronica even though she was younger than me. It may
just have been lust. I was addicted to her and what she opened my
eyes to. I probably would’ve done anything she wanted just for some
of her loving. I think the only person who had an idea about us was
my uncle. Still, he never explained much to me about what is known
as, “The birds and the bees.” I found it all out on my own as I
got older and had more sexual experiences with different types of
women. This was enlightening. Growing up, I witnessed and heard a lot
due to all the hookers that passed through my house, as well as my
experiences with Veronica. I believed everything was just about sex.
As time went on, my only motive with the females I messed with was
a kid, I never thought that emotions had to be involved in a
relationship in order for it to be meaningful. This idea blew up in
my face as the years went on and I tried to figure women out. I came
close a few times, got lucky once in a while, but my fingers had more
pleasure than me. It soon became evident that getting pussy meant
agreeing to a relationship.
had no problem with that, as long as I got some sex out of it. I
could care less what they thought about me because I didn’t have
many real feelings for them. I just wanted to fuck and move on.
Emotional feelings were never really a factor. My focus was on the
feelings I received whenever they provided me with sexual favors.
That was the only pleasure I cared for and desired. I would say
and/or agree to just about anything just to have sex with a female.
There were quite a few that I assumed wanted me to be committed, yet
my commitment varied greatly from theirs. Most realized that later
down the line when I felt the need to move on to the next female.
let down these females the same way my first crush let me down. I
thought that’s how you were supposed to end relationships. I didn’t
know any better and nobody ever told me there was a formal way to do
so. At that time, it wasn’t like I cared away. Now, I’ve learned
this is absolutely not the case.
would just leave without saying good-bye. It always seemed that when
I did commit, I got let down or was disappointed somehow. So, in my
eyes, I was doing the same thing to them because I felt it was only
right in all fairness.
I had to learn all about women on my own and from others with
self-proclaimed knowledge. With all that being said, a playa was born
and I began to play along with the playa’s. I followed in the
footsteps of those who I thought knew better and only later on down
the line did I learn otherwise.
is all I knew for a long time and that’s how all my female
encounters were. I was playing them.
VIRGIN ISLAND 1983-1984
lost my virginity to a girl named Veronica. I was probably about
eleven years old. She was a young, sexy Latina I used to babysit when
our parents went out. They frequented the bar and clubs. While they
were out partying, we were home alone. Veronica was a year or two
younger than me, but her actions and ways would have you believe
otherwise. To be completely honest, I truly doubt she was even a
virgin at the time. She was far too boy friendly to be inexperienced.
She had long, dark black hair, a butterscotch complexion, and some
chinky eyes. I can’t forget the fact that she had a pretty smile.
One day after school, while our parents were at work, Veronica’s
sister asked me if Veronica could stay with me until she finished
running some errands. That was like music to my ears. I was quick to
say yes and shortly thereafter, Veronica came over.
parents weren’t due back home until 5 o’clock that evening. So we
took it upon ourselves to play house and since I was already watching
my siblings, Veronica and I played the role of parents. I was the
husband not thinking I was going to be doing all the “husband”
duties. I shared a room with my sister and younger brothers. It was a
big two family flat. So it wasn’t hard to find privacy in our house
and Veronica being the “mother,” made sure we had privacy to play
our little game. She had the other kids do their homework and then
watch some T.V., while having me wait for her in the bedroom. She was
obviously running the show.